February.2nd.1999

	Past issues are available. o (11.1.98) o (11.11.98) o (11.16.98) o (11.17.98) o (1.12.99)
The matters discussed here are of national interest. Past topics have included nuclear disarmament, hormone-mimicing environmental hazards, sustainable agriculture and the risk of high levels of scat production to our strained toxic transport systems.

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Where does the expression "'till the cows come home" come from? Is it possible to lose a cow?

Having been raised amongst the cows in a poor rural area, we understand the nature of these divine beings. The Hindu religion considers these animals sacred, and with good reason. Bovines are so ineffably vacuous that they have no inner homing device, and will wander aimlessly, following their food source, and never come home. The Hindu consider this the mark of a truly enlightened creature: no earthly location binds the cow; it is an unarguably free spirit.

So, the phrase "Until the cows come home" is a compliment. It is usually used to indicate that one person respects the independance of another: "I'm sure I will enjoy conversing until the cows come home." Translated, this means: "I'm sure I will enjoy conversing, but understand your desire not to fix a time for our conversation."

There are alternate theories. My friend Sketch the Art Cow proposed this one: "Farm cows are trained to leave the stable in the morning, graze in the pasture, and then wander home as it gets dark."

However, this is debatable.

You misplaced your cow while driving to our house last Monday night. When you made the sharp turn into the Exxon station to get a cup of coffee the bovine headed straight down Main Street. It ended up at Drumlin farm, which is off of 117, and was healthy and happy until Saturday morning when your cow was butchered and frozen. Some parts of your cow can be found in the Drumlin farm smokehouse as well.

Best of luck,

The Spirits of Moomboonga Ghoti

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